Tuesday, May 13, 2008

letting go

If it isn't enough that its finals week and i am getting sick. but i just received the news that my great-grandma died. we weren't super-duper close, but close enough for this to really hurt. i know she was old and lived a good life, but i don't think we are really ever ready to let go of people.
i am recently realizing that it is hard for me to let go of things. when something happens, i tend to hold on to it and not move on. something that i am learning is that i need to live more in the moment, that sounds wrong. what i mean is i need to enjoy things while they are happening and not hold on and wish they were still happening. i know i do this out of fear. i am scared of the future and what is going to happen in my life, so i live on the hope that it is just my past re-happening so i can control it. I need to just let go. Let go of the past, let go of the past hurts and past happiness. it does not benefit me or anyone else to hold on. i know when i do let go, GOD is there i don't need to hold on to all these things and i know it, it is a good realization, but now i just need to actually do it. the end.

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